Buzz Fleischman - Columnist PageThe Republican Presidential express has staggered south to the land of a thousand stances, so fellow Floridians get ready -- it's that time of the year to shut off the phones; the political robo-calling is coming in as thick and fast as a lobbyist for the privatization of, well, pick an industry.

Some of us start to twitch when the word 'voting' is used. Ever since we dropped the word 'chad' from the Florida edition of the baby-naming book, we've had to try to live down our reputation. We did get a little help this year from Iowa, with a caucus vote of a tenth of a percentage point separating Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum (34 votes) which couldn't be certified because eight precincts lost their ballots. No one knows who really won. Sound familiar?

We're now in the run-up to the general election and we don't know if we can make it through unscathed. It's a Florida thing, like sand in your shoes, only the sand has been stuck and grating in our underwear since the first candidate stepped onto the public stage and promised us everything for nothing forever.

Let's examine the plank the remaining candidates are walking on, in their quest to out-debate each other. The so-called debates, which must by now number in the hundreds, have exposed more positions than a top-of-the-line adjustable bed.

In a blow to comedy writers everywhere, and to a lesser extent the hundred or so people who actually voted for her in the Iowa caucus, Michelle Bachmann dropped out of the Presidential race. One can only hope that Herman Cain has a change of heart, needs to sell more books and will regale us with 9-9-9 once again.

With jobs and the economy as America's top priority, Newt Gingrich spoke of a moon colony by 2020 to a cheering audience... on the Space Coast.

If Ron Paul has a say, government programs like NASA will be cut back to where we couldn't land a man on Bermuda and we could settle differences with other nations with a hot game of rocks paper scissors. According to Paul, "We've got all the natural resources to do this and don't have to import anything."

Mitt Romney has been on the stump for so long he doesn't look like his original campaign poster anymore and is the darling of most Republicans who want to mute Newt.

Let's hope for some national 'do not disturb' legislation, at least until after the election.

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