Buzz Fleischman - Columnist Page. Dear Western Civilization,
Hello, Hallo and Yahsu!
We hope this note finds you all well and stable (Especially you, Germany!)
I thought it was time to write (It requires more than a 'Tweet') and bring you up to speed.
Greece is so much more than souvlaki, feta cheese and Nia Vardalos.
It's the birthplace of Democracy and the damn cradle of Western Civilization! HelllOOOOoooo!!
We're known for many concepts and inventions dating from the dawn of civilization like the invention of 'theater', but we didn't write 'Cavemen' or 'My Mother, the Car', and even though we 'invented' the Olympic Games, our jury is still out as far as 'curling' is concerned.
Just because we're not able to take a vacation and visit you at this time, let me mention up front that you are always welcome to come and spend some holiday time with us. Don't worry that our tour guides were part of the civil service hiring freeze in 2010. We'll just 'lend' some civil servants from the public sector. There are plenty to go around. If they don't remember their history I'm sure that what they make it up will be entertaining. You'll be overwhelmed by the ruins anyway.
We know we've 'overspent' these last few years, but hey, who hasn't? Every home in America has more digital TV sets than the entire village of Faraklata on the island of Kefalonia! Did you know that the ancient Greeks invented money as we know it? It's just that spending it may not be our strong point. Who knew those little circular metal pieces used for trade would spin wildly out of our control? We really did pay attention in ancient math class, but only Pythagoras knew what a hypotenuse was.
After having 'cradled' civilization we certainly don't want to upset the world's economic apple cart and start all over.
Last year a couple of German politicians told us to sell off islands, historic buildings and artworks before receiving aid. We've been thinking about it, and believe us that there is no truth to the rumor that the Parthenon was purchased by Donald Trump, subdivided and re-named the Trump-Anon. It's only a short term lease.
We've got about 6,000 islands and islets scattered in the Aegean and Ionian Seas, and only 227 are inhabited. We think there's some wiggle room there for a 'short sale or two'. I think Germany got that idea when they sold off parts of the Berlin Wall starting in the 90's but where did that money go, schnitzel and noodles?
The politicians (I think we invented politics too) have snidely said that the German people are more industrious because they 'get up early and work all day'.
You try living in a sunny and dry climate on Corfu with balmy breezes all day long. See how long you want to be cooped up indoors and miss all those topless Greek beauties just swaying and swimming and balancing olives in their naval and....where was I?
Oh yes, the economy. We will labor like Hercules to make it right, but only until we reach the retirement age of about 32.
