We’re getting’ squeezed and it’s not pretty!

When we flew in the 1970’s there was 35 inches of space between a point on your seat (seat pitch) and the one in front of you. That has dropped to almost 31 inches and seat width has shortened from18.5 inches to16.5. The obesity rate has doubled since the 1970’s. We’re getting larger and the seats are getting smaller.

There are no federal regulations for the amount of space we need to feel comfortable in when we fly, but the airlines have stepped into whatever space is left with the invention of a ‘shoe horn’ for your butt, or a ‘butt-horn’. Flight attendants must complete an 8 hour course over two days to be qualified to utilize this amazing device.

As you enter the aircraft, a laser scan will identify those needing ‘extra help’. Without letting other passengers know, it will automatically ‘tag’ the offending butt with a readable code which only a qualified flight attendant can see. The flight attendant will then follow the big person to their seat, take the foldable device from their back pocket and surreptitiously ‘ease’ the passenger in. A well-trained flight attendant can do this with one hand and with the other on the person’s shoulder while asking “if there’s anything I can do for you” or “are you allergic to peanuts?” without arousing suspicion.

Call it an ‘Auxiliary Basic Inter-Globular Bottom Utilization Tool Thingy’ (ABIGBUTT).