A natural gas leak near Los Angeles has proven to be the largest in US history. The Aliso Canyon blowout vented almost 100,000 tons of methane into the atmosphere. The impact on the climate is said to be the equivalent of a small fleet of Volkswagen diesel engines running day and night for a week.

“It would have taken at least 3 sessions of Congress to equal that kind of gas output” said Representative Myron Flores R-CA. “And I’m not counting after lunch!”

Researchers say it had a far bigger warming effect than ‘If all the cows in Texas got together and farted at the same time’.

Southern California Gas Company (SoCalGas) made seven unsuccessful attempts to shut down the billowing plumes of methane and ethane when Depends Guards for Men®, an incontinence product, was brought into the picture.

“We started thinking ‘out of the bladder’” said Depends® spokesperson Alan Berford. “What we have here is an ‘overactive’ gas leak “How different is that from the typical human incontinence we see? Not much. It’s just a little bigger and out in the open. What we did was bundle hundreds of Depend for Men Ultra Extra-Heavy Absorbency Pads into a huuuuuge cushion and lowered it over the leak. Did you see the videos on Facebook?”

Initially thought of as a just a ‘special effect’ from the production of ‘Mad Max: Fury Road’ in a nearby film studio, California governor Jerry Brown declared a state of emergency in the area as 11,000 local residents were evacuated, brought back and given complimentary tickets to the real movie as compensation.