Buzz Fleischman fortlauderdaleconnex.com Columnist Page A 2010 child nutrition law that called on schools to improve the nutritional quality of lunches for about 32 million U.S. school children will instead continue to "make them fat and sassy, thank you," House members said.

In a predictable move, members of the House of Representatives declared "pizza is still a vegetable" as they continued to not deal with the overwhelming economic mess.

In an astounding move that some in Washington did not expect, pizza declared Congress 'still a vegetable.'

"The only thing we have in common is that we both get going with a fistful of dough,'' Pizza said.

The House of Representatives had no stomach for those who fight childhood obesity when it passed a bill that abandons proposals that would have ended support of pizza and fries on federally funded school lunch menus.

A nationwide poll of school children went a step further and showed overwhelming support for having USDA declare pepperoni a food group all by itself. Congress then took some kind of vote that stated any food with even a 15 percent content of pepperoni would legally qualify as full 'pepperoni.'

House of Representative members whose districts are key pepperoni producing areas jumped on the survey as one way to get America back to work, by expanding pepperoni production beyond the Italian sections of large metropolitan areas. In the hinterlands famers would be urged to rotate it with zucchini, pepperoncini and other lesser known vegetables.

Corey Henry, speaking for the American Frozen Food Institute (AFFI) declared "An important victory." Pizza will remain classified as a vegetable and enjoy its status as the food most enjoyed by school children as they grow into childhood obesity.

Mark Dunn, AFFI's chairman and potato supplier J.R. Simplot's main lobbyist, referred requests for comment to a company spokesman, who also declined to respond and then referred all questions to Billy Ray Johnson, a line worker in the potato plant who separates ordinary spuds from the good ones.

Asked about the legislation, Billy Ray said, "Huh?"

Still smarting over the stinging rebukes from learned colleagues during the Reagan administration when the President declared ketchup a vegetable, the House reaffirmed its position that "As long as there are lobbyists there will be decisions like this."

Current USDA rules require just two tablespoons of tomato paste as opposed to a half cup to qualify as a 'vegetable serving.' Congress then seized on that information and declared that a liter is the same as a gallon, thus giving added value at the pump to Americans who still do not understand the metric system.

Pizza will still be a staple of school lunch menus unless cooler heads prevail.

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