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Published: December 03 2013

China will land its first probe on the moon in early December. “We were just trying to get away from the smoke and traffic and it was the only clean place left” said Who Am Hi a senior technician with their space program.

A December window was announced for the chance favorable winter winds could clear away the smog so the rocket would be more easily seen by the launch crew. Who said, “We saw it for a short time in October, but when we looked away, the smog rolled back and it was gone again.”

The lunar lander, a 2 cylinder 3 wheeled converted commercial delivery vehicle will deploy and explore the surface. “We saved a ton of money on that decision” said a spokesperson. “By the time we go back to the moon, we’ll have a way to deliver good hot food to the other astronauts.”

Once it lands, the electric/motorized hybrid will belch black smoke to mark its territory.

In a nod to Chinese driving habits, its horn will be activated upon landing and despite no other vehicles present will begin to beep constantly until the batteries run out.

When the electric motor runs down it will explore the terrain to the limit of its 300 foot extension cord. “We should have used Duracells’ but the budget wasn’t there, so, just like everything else, we ‘knocked them off” mentioned an un-named source.

The effort marks a major milestone in the country's ambitions to explore places it has never been like an Amnesty International rally.

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