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Published: October 08 2012

Buzz Fleischman - Columnist Page. PBS' Big Bird was ambushed, and in the off-season too. Mitt Romney's bird hunting tirade was the biggest news from the hunting world since Dick Cheney's aim went bad.

Romney's comment generated more 'Tweets' than an entire migration of Bobolinks.

Is Big Bird in jeopardy? Yes! Is Mitt Romney a bird lover? I don't think so. Romney stated unequivocally that he would cease all funding for PBS as he looked moderator Jim Lehrer in the eye and said "I like PBS ... I love Big Bird, but I'm not going to keep on spending money on things to borrow money from China to pay for it" as he ended his sentence with a preposition. He also mentioned the fact that "When and if PBS has a show that gets more viewers than I've got sons, I'll think twice about my stand"

In a rebuttal PBS spokes-character Elmo said "Hey, Tickle me"

The PBS Animals Veterinary Clinic's doctor issued a statement from after the bird's yearly physical and said, "Well there's some premature molting and I think that's due to the stress. His pressure's up and he doesn't feel like flying South"

The Federal Office of Management and Budget (FOMB) said that "If PBS were totally defunded, it would save the government the equivalent of what it costs to serve S.O.S. at breakfast to the crews of 2 average sized ships in the US Navy.

The entire PBS funding budget $444 million, is about 0.007 % of the US federal budget and less than 15% comes from the federal government. The vast majority is derived from private donations.

Oscar the Grouch, compulsive trash hoarder and at one time a charter tea party member, has seen the light. "If they dis big bird, who's next?" he said at a rally of former obsessive compulsive TV characters. "Living with trash should not take the place of talking trash" intoned Oscar Madison, of TV's 'The Odd Couple' as he stood shoulder to can with his namesake character.

A recent study found that PBS is the nation's most-trusted institution which is a designation it has earned nine years in a row. (True)

It added that although most Americans deem it an "excellent" use of tax dollars, conservatives frequently accuse the network of having a liberal bias. The study was conducted in early 2012 by the independent, non-partisan research companies Harris Interactive and ORC Online Caravan.

Jim Henson rolled in his grave.

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