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Published: May 17 2012

Buzz Fleischman - Columnist Page. In the dawn of 'civilization' the first cave-man looked up at the sky, saw a comet and proclaimed the end of the world. The first cave woman was dubious because she knew he was full of it.

Since then there have been many announcements of doom and gloom about things we did not understand like credit default swaps.

But first, let's get ready to 'party' with our Sun!

On May 20th, most of the United States, Mexico and Canada will experience a celestial phenomenon which occurs only twice a century; a partial eclipse of the Sun. The Eastern coast will not see it at all. This does not mean it's not going to happen. Scientists who went on to higher educational pursuits after actually studying in college tell us it will.

Here's what will occur:

The Sun will be moving down the afternoon sky when a dark 'dent' begins to intrude into one edge. Don't worry; the sun isn't going away because you've been a 'bad person', or as a result of President Obama proclaiming his support of gay marriage. The 'dent' will slowly move across the Sun's face like some giant black hole swallowing our life giving orb and not stop swallowing unless you send money to some crazy preacher who produced a grainy viral video about you going to hell if you don't. Just kidding!

(Note to those who would rather watch the NBA playoff game instead of seeing the partial eclipse 'live'; if done under scientific circumstances with professionals, it can be duplicated in the lab with balls and lamps at a later, more convenient date. You should not try this at home.)

If you have no access to a lab, an average person can accomplish the same effect with a tennis ball held about 18 inches from their face or a basketball held by a friend about 6 feet away in a line of sight between you and the Sun. Instruct your friend to slowly move the basketball across the sun, keeping the same perspective so you may imagine the real thing. When their arms get tired, go out and buy them a beer to celebrate your faux cosmic transit.

Back to celestial happenings:

The dent will deepen, eventually turning the Sun into a fat crescent, or, for the western half of the continent, a thin crescent, or for parts of mountainous Arkansas the Earth is truly coming to an end. (See crazy preacher reference, third paragraph)

Take a breath here. Everything is fine in the sky as the dent is really the silhouette of the new Moon transiting the face of the Sun. (Twice a century, unless the President proclaims his support of something else)

But wait, there's more! Just 16 days hence, on the afternoon of June 5th, the planet Venus will make a transit of the face of the Sun. The silhouette of Venus will be a small black dot over just 3% of the diameter of the Sun, compared to the Moon's 94% on May 20th.

Yes, I know, Venus is much larger than the moon. Why is it relegated to being a small 'blip'? Women really are from Venus and they've been 'short changed' by the cave men once again.

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