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Published: May 08 2012

Buzz Fleischman - Columnist Page. What or who has been described as 'Drops of steel with cameras for eyes'?

Why Wenlock and Mandeville of course, Olympic mascots for the Games being hosted in London this summer.

Olympic mascots have historically been animals of the realm or invented characters that you would never want to see pop out from under the bed late at night. The current mascots cannot be identified as animal, vegetable or mineral, but could be seen by some as a futuristic Gumby in outer space or a refugee from a 'Happy Tooth' commercial.

Their images will be plastered on more coffee mugs and T shirts than can fit onto 100 supertankers.

The arms are the only humanlike touch with no muscularity at all and a bulge towards the bottom showing no tendency for having ever 'worked out' physically. So much for the allusion to fitness associated with the Olympic Games.

What do the Olympic rings symbolize? This year they represent Global unity, peaceful competition and a Big Mac for lunch.

But British doctors from Britain's Academy of Medical Royal Colleges have issued a statement about the association of fast food giant McDonald's being the 'official Restaurant of the London Olympic Games'. It wasn't congratulatory.

They did this on the way to their dentist.

According to a survey in 2003, more money is spent on sweets annually in Britain than in any other European country; a teeth-rotting £1.37billion. By now that figure has probably grown to mean more 'ivory' lost in 'jolly old' than from all the 'elephant graveyards' in Africa.

Hey, go pick on Cadbury, the "official Olympic 'treat' provider".

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Until the advent of interesting Indian restaurants; bangers and mash, fish and chips and haggis; traditionally made from a sheep stomach stuffed with entrails, have been among the staples of a British Isles diet. Now you know why they eat a lot of sugar.

Are you 'McRibbing' me? Where's my Happy Meal?