Details

Published: March 19 2012

Buzz Fleischman - Columnist Page. What is 'spinning'? Spinning is an exercise.

In this exercise do people revolve quickly like a whirling dervish but without the diaphanous clothing, maybe a cross between speed yoga with a dash of Zumba and some Pilates thrown in? No.

In spinning, you get on a stationary bicycle and pedal, unlike being outside where the fun is trying to avoid being sideswiped by distracted drivers. To be fair, it puts you on a bike, but not in garish bike jock tight fitting uniforms with the extra-large lettering. Is it a problem for outside bicyclers because drivers try to read the words on your back and become distracted? No. many drivers are distracted by the simple act of driving.

If you're a 'fashionista', spinning is not for you. When you 'spin' you're in sweat clothes. If I want to hang out with a bunch of sweaty people, I'll run a south Florida marathon.

To some, spinning is like walking backwards on a moving sidewalk at the airport. You're not making any progress; almost like trying to reach a compromise with the tea party. It's also a lot like Congress; there's a lot of movement and you're not going anywhere with a lot of other people who are not going anywhere.

Spinning class is for people who like to ride a bicycle and not have to wear those helmets that make you look like you're in motion while you're standing still.

The only fun in a monotonous exercise class like this is when the leader playfully yells, "Watch out for that truck" or "They're throwing bottles at you....Duck!!"

Sure you're exercising, but let's wring out every benefit. The main wheel of a stationary bike looks like it could generate some serious electricity.

Besides downsizing your hips, how can we best utilize all that energy?

Let's connect those wheels to a generator and, well, generate! The South Florida electric grid is about as stable as a Newt Gingrich speechwriter.

We could hook up all the health clubs and send the excess power to 'Mount Trashmore' in northwestern Broward.

They already send power to 50,000 homes through the methane fuel and incinerated waste which turns four turbines. Let us be that '5th turbine' and spin our way to energy independence.

{module get-this-humor}